So you want to leave, eh?

It has been enlightening and at the same time difficult to tell my patients that I am leaving. That they will return and see another doctor the next time. Mostly they are happy for me, that I am doing what I "need to do" or "what makes me happy." And yet, some of the time I get the sense that they are not happy with me for leaving them, as though I thought about each of them specifically when I decided to leave. "Dr. Wales, what am I going to do?!" Survive, just as you have been under my care (or despite it), just as you were doing before I came here. It is hard to tell people with whom I have invested so much time and energy that I am not going to continue to be that support for them. I knew that it might be difficult, but with a few it has been particularly tough.

Case in point- two weeks ago one mexican lady told me that she wished me God's blessing and that everything would go so well with me because I have been so good to (my patients). In Spanish she asked me if I knew that (my Spanish-speaking patients) really loved me because I treated them so well, as though they were my own sons and daughters. She went on to tell me that I was the best doctor that she had ever had. I have to say that it was the first time in a long time that anyone has said something to me that made tears come to my eyes. Of course I cry at dumb movies where I have been manipulated into doing so, but this was completely different. It was refreshing. And it made me feel a true sense of accomplishment- that I have accomplished something special here, and that God has truly used me to be a blessing to my patients.

The other thing I have noticed is that as the days draw nearer to my time of departure I am a wee bit apprehensive about leaving. This always happens, but right now it is a little worse because I haven't lined up anything for the fall. I may be going to Yuma, or Portland, or maybe Albuquerque, but nothing is certain. That being the case I have resolved to let the chips fall as they may and keep on with my plans. Most people sem to think that it sounds exciting for me, though maybe they don't think that they could ever do something like that. Some will say so, while others seem to give some sort of approval, all the while thinking that I am nuts to walk away from all this. But "all this" is another topic.