sounding board

It seems that the ones who know me best are the ones who can say the most insightful things sometimes. The Proverbs are a great source of wisdom from which to draw insight, and it is a great thing to be reminded from whence I have come. For me the Proverbs are a wonderful encouragement. There are so many that speak to me. Here are but a few: Pr. 13:12 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life"; Pr. 16:9 "The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps"; Pr. 17:17 "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity"; and Pr. 3:7-8 "Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body and refreshing to your bones."

Just out of curiousity, what Proverbs are you reading these days- what gets your attention and truly speaks to you?

Apprehension

When it comes right down to it, I find that changing from something that is comfortable to something that is new is more difficult than stepping out into something that is unknown. Even something that is "muy pesado," or really heavy, draining, or wearying, is often easy to stick with because it is so much more familiar (read- like family). This may explain why so many folks, especially women, stick it out with situations that nobody else can understand. Make no mistake, I am not speaking about my own family in this case, but rather that which Isee in my workplace. Countless people come across my path who cannot see that there are better alternatives because chasing after them would mean changing something that is comfortable to some degree. For example if a child always gets to sleep with his parents and the parents want my advice, many times I will get the objection, "but Doctor, he's going to cry all night." Good. It is about time. I'm not saying he should be put to bed and the door locked from outside, but he needs to learn that there are alternatives for him to explore. He needs reassurance and comforting, but also he needs to learn that sometimes things change and are still okay.

As adults we often are faced with opportunities that we may find exciting but do not take for the same reasons. We are uncomfortable with changing that with which wea re familiar. We make excuses to ourselves to lessen our regret but regret it we do. We survey our lives and the opportunites to change that were there and passed over often are the very things we regret the most.

At least that is how I see it. I have very few regrets that are things that I have done. Most of them are things that I chose not to do. I don't want to be that way anymore. I would rather live my life and have some regrets having lived it actively than to live my life overly cautiously, having regrets of things I could have done or at least attempted. Thoughts?

Traveling with some movement

Just a little preview if you're interested. I went to Denver, Colorado last week and took a few pictures in a few hard to reach places. This is on Torrey's Peak, 14,267 feet above sea level. Quite a day.

So you want to leave, eh?

It has been enlightening and at the same time difficult to tell my patients that I am leaving. That they will return and see another doctor the next time. Mostly they are happy for me, that I am doing what I "need to do" or "what makes me happy." And yet, some of the time I get the sense that they are not happy with me for leaving them, as though I thought about each of them specifically when I decided to leave. "Dr. Wales, what am I going to do?!" Survive, just as you have been under my care (or despite it), just as you were doing before I came here. It is hard to tell people with whom I have invested so much time and energy that I am not going to continue to be that support for them. I knew that it might be difficult, but with a few it has been particularly tough.

Case in point- two weeks ago one mexican lady told me that she wished me God's blessing and that everything would go so well with me because I have been so good to (my patients). In Spanish she asked me if I knew that (my Spanish-speaking patients) really loved me because I treated them so well, as though they were my own sons and daughters. She went on to tell me that I was the best doctor that she had ever had. I have to say that it was the first time in a long time that anyone has said something to me that made tears come to my eyes. Of course I cry at dumb movies where I have been manipulated into doing so, but this was completely different. It was refreshing. And it made me feel a true sense of accomplishment- that I have accomplished something special here, and that God has truly used me to be a blessing to my patients.

The other thing I have noticed is that as the days draw nearer to my time of departure I am a wee bit apprehensive about leaving. This always happens, but right now it is a little worse because I haven't lined up anything for the fall. I may be going to Yuma, or Portland, or maybe Albuquerque, but nothing is certain. That being the case I have resolved to let the chips fall as they may and keep on with my plans. Most people sem to think that it sounds exciting for me, though maybe they don't think that they could ever do something like that. Some will say so, while others seem to give some sort of approval, all the while thinking that I am nuts to walk away from all this. But "all this" is another topic.

Interruptions

Interruptions come in a variety of forms. Obviously some are more dramatic and attention-getting, while others can be somewhat ignored (though hardly an interruption if it can be completely ignored). The main thing is that they interrupt one's sense of calm, one's poise, or train of thought if you will.

Interruption can change the present in ways that are not predictable sometimes. My current job has been interrupted by my own choice to leave. In this case I have interrupted myself in a sense, as I have been on a steady course for sometime. I am forced to deal with the interruption and see how things will work out that are not exactly within my control.

This is of my own choosing, but what I find more interesting is that sometimes we are interrupted by things that are not of our own choosing, and how we handle those can be very revealing of our character and of who we really are.

In this Blog I plan to discuss many things, from my personal feelings about traveling as a doctor and not really having a real home, to how other things are affecting me and those around me.

Those of you who know me, know where I am coming from, but for thise who don't, you are welcome to read along and ask questions as you like. I may not always explain myself clearly without prompting.

I hope you enjoy my roadtrips. I know I will...